• Chєяmаφиэ ðıаяφ •

Hold My Hand

2010-12-05T02:50:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to : Turn Around - Flo Rida

I love you so much that I never really care about things around anymore. I started telling more and more lies now. It doesn't feels good lying to my parents like all the time, but you won't know how much it worth even telling lies, just to see you smile. You make me feels good seeing you smile. Time really flies. It's been a month. A month ago, the heart dropping feels in Mc Donalds, I do remember.

Thanks for being there for me for this 1 whole month. I wouldn't say it's looooong. But it means a lot to me. We've been spending so much time together. Thanks for being there wiping off my tears when I'm upset, giving me hugs and kisses that I'll never forget how it felt. I'll never forget how your lips felt on mine for the first time, and you holding me in front of your family and your friends. Thanks for being there for everything, every second spent with you was so priceless.

I wish you had your day. I don't know whether you felt it the way I did. But all I do, I really wish it does mean something to you too. I've been spending so much time on that. And meeting your family and friends is the awesomest things ever. I'll never forget how it feels like stepping in to your house, with your mom and brother sitting in the living room, my heart really DROPS!

Now that all my friends are saying that I seem happy, with somebody new, I do really feel that way. At least for now. We've got months or maybe years to go. I really wish we could last.

You always made my day. No matter how bad it was, it turned good, at least better. I love seeing you falling asleep next to me, holding my hand. Pure simpleness. It'll last. It will. :)

Thanks for being there for everything, and making me the princess. Having you here means a lot. It's awesome.

Happy belated birthday my dear, I love you. :)

XOXO

Innocent

2010-11-14T05:42:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to : What's My Name - Rihanna featuring Drake

I remember those days, when I was a kid, real kid living in a house, only daddy, mummy and me.
When I was a kid, everything was so simple, so good, so perfect.
When I was a kid, daddy and mummy quarrel, but they were just good after that.

Those were when I was a kid.

My main point now is about mummy. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you now mom, you are losing my respect already. Seriously, you want others to be good to you, show some respect please, even to the little ones. You want me to treat you like my mom, TREAT ME LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER. I'm so sick of talking to you, what you do is scold, scold and scold. I did nothing! It's just a very small stuff, I even called home and ask if you need me to buy you dinner, I wouldn't call if I don't care about you! And all you know how to do is scold? And not talking for days because of this small stuff? Smart ass, I'll never ask if you need anything anymore.

" See how the way you treat Daryl now? You started to behave like that fella already. " Daddy said to me.

Daddy. Fed up already. I always wanted to ask him " Why you'd marry mom at the first place? " Why aren't you tired of fighting? All I know she does is fight, in this family. Now you see why me and my brother always fight? And now I know why dad likes to go back to Malacca, there's where true family is. Things that doesn't exist right here.

You've been complaining 'bout me and Daryl, the only siblings but fighting like everyday. You never see where all this comes from. Look at the way you talk to grandma. You always say we don't know what manners is. Now you see where it comes from. You talk to her, noooo, not talk, you shout at her. You come home, step in to the house, with I don't know what kind of annoying face, like you're the only one come home with stress from work.

Everytime I was trying to put some effort to make things better, it comes out worst. This is not how a family suppose to be! I thought we have to be like supporting each other instead of stepping on each other? I'm so sick of this. You know what? Seeing your parents not talking to each other at all for months doesn't make the kids feels good okay? Everything you wanna talk to dad, goes through either me or Daryl. Daryl might be too young to know what's going on, but I can't stand this. I don't know what I will do if I couldn't take this any longer.

And daddy, I tell you what, I promise, I swear, I will never be like mummy. Never! I'll always be your daddy's little girl. I will never treat you like how she did! Seriously, I love you.

And mom, for your information, dad won't be able to take this any futher as I know, totally fed up already.

I guess you just did figured something out. I tell you what? I won't let you ruin my relationship ever again. Not this one!

The Story Of Us

2010-11-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to : Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

I've been staying single for 4 months after Del left me, now that I really did get over everything, vanished memories we used to had, and took Weng as my new boyfriend. Time flies, isn't it? :)

I never thought things will move this way, it's like, just a minute or two before this, we were just like friends sitting in Mc Donalds talking 'bout random stuff, and everything turned the other way round just in a second, in a text messages that makes my heart drops. LOL. I was so freaked out, not knowing what to do. It sounds so stupid, not even him dares to do the talking that time. :)

I talked to Cheng Yee 'bout it right after that, I kinda regretted. I can't see the future, I have the "Hey Chermayne? You never like boys like this!" thought.

And that I didn't even realized I fell for this guy already, I wouldn't spend so much time with him if I don't. He did so much for me, even when we were still friends. He came look for me and we had lunch together almost every friday, where my lunch hour sometimes wasn't even half an hour. He waited for me to finish work at 5.30 downstairs at Mc Donalds or Starbucks, instead of staying at home on a friday evening. He send me back to Mon't Kiara almost every monday after basketball training, like I'll faint halfway if I go back on my own. He came pick me up every monday morning at the station and we had breakfast at Old Town together. He came and bring me out for lunch like on past few saturdays, and sat in Starbucks with me for hours until mummy came pick me up. He waited with me for mummy to finish meeting for 3 hours till almost 8 at night. He sent me home, all the way back to Cheras, when he doesn't even know the way. He wakes me up early in the morning, for me to get my piano work done. He texts me all the time. He tells me everything, so do I. :)

We've been together for like only 3 days, officially, but we've been through so much, I lost count.

I tell lies, I lied to daddy just to go out with him. Daddy's good, I love you. Hahaha. :)

Coming all the way from Kepong, I don't know is it really that near like he said, it sounds pretty far to me. Losing his way to my place, and I was like waited for almost an hour. Got scolded by grandma going out so late, but worth it.

I had a really great night with all the heart to heart talk, the way he hold me and kissed me under the firework at 1 in the midnight. He's my first boyfriend ever that makes me smile when he kissed me. :) And the way he looked, so stupid when he can't remember the way back, and his stubborness. :)

At least for now, I never regret saying yes. He's a good boyfriend that I don't know where else to find. It does takes time to understand someone like him, all of us sees the same thing I guess. He never fails putting a smile on my face.

I wouldn't say I love you forever, nothing lasts forever for me. Time flies, thing fades. But for now, I know I love you.

Really do. :)

Loves,
XOXO ♥

Dumb Love

2010-11-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Haunted - Taylor Swift

All I gonna do now is be a good and responsible girlfriend, and stand by him all the time.

I love you. :)

XOXO

Waiting For The End

2010-10-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Na na na - My Chemical Romance

I screwed my English Presentation last week 'cause I wasn't prepared. My mind actually went blank right after I got up from my seat, standing in front of them. So fucking screwed man! All I do was reading the notes that I'd memorized. I was asked to redo, I think I kinda made up my mind already, now I'm not gonna redo. xD I'll just take the passing marks then. :)

23rd Oct 2010.

Went to work in the morning, and then lunch in the afternoon at Garden Cafe in Solaris Mon't Kiara. :) The food was okay okay only lah compare to like few months back when I first went there with mummy.

And then went back to Plaza Mon't Kiara, Starbucks again. :) At first he was trying to finish his assignment and I was trying to study Macroeconomics. Failed lah, obviously. Talk more than do. xD

Mummy came pick me up around 3.30 for an event in Sunrise Funzone, at Bayu walk, Mon't Kiara. :) The event was, tiring.

The spider is so cuteeeeee! :)

And the haunted house was kinda scary, even with the lights on. I went in before they turned off the lights. xD

The girls putting on zombie look for the dance.

Spot the girl at the back, fuckin' cool man! xD

The witch girl up there, and this little boy, awwwww, so cute!

And this boy, sooooooo Edward Cullen! :) The girls were all taking pictures with him that night!

The queue, for the haunted house.

The dance! They were dancing Michael Jackson's Thriller man! That makes me think of you guys! I miss last year's campfire!

And the birthday cake. Sooo cute :)

Went home like around 9.30pm. Very tiring! There's another one next month. :) Volunteering again I guess. And Deck-A-Tree Charity event in December. I missed last year's one due to SPM. I'm going, I'm going, I'm going this year! xD

Happy Halloween guys!

XOXO

The Other Side

2010-10-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Back To December - Taylor Swift

I cried listening to Back to december for the first time, it's so touching. :( The song, the lyrics, meant for Taylor Lautner. Okay, that's like obviously if you're a fan of Taylor.

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier then ever.
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why.

Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving,
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized that I loved you in the fall.
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

All the time

Tomorrow's gonna be my first basketball practice! Goshh, SUN BLOCK IS A MUST! And wish that the basketball won't crash me, it's going to take some time for my friends to puzzle me back!
LOL

And yea, happy birthday to the2 DEC-October-birthday-boy! :D

Undeniable, the DEC's are the awesomest friends ever on earth. Seriouly. :)

XOXO

Talking To The Moon

2010-10-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Fuck You - Cee-Lo Green

First, I was trying to do my IOM tutorial in the living hall. Then I felt hot, I carried everything back in to my room, but I still feel hot, then I changed my t-shirt. Then I don't feel hot anymore. I started reading the first line of the question. I pick up a highlighter, but it's out of ink. Then I went downstairs and ask for highlighter from my brother. Then I saw Gossip Girl on the tv, I sat down and watched for half an hour. Then I got upstairs, I felt hungry. I went down again and look for biscuit. So I'm nom-ing the biscuit now and ended up here.

The End.

Was so sick this morning, I skipped lecture and Co-cu and went home early, by myself. Give me a big clap. LOL I'm so dying next monday, what am I gonna do if the basketball hits me right at my face. -.- Hahaha.

Nights peeps! xD

I miss you girls. ♥

XOXO

Shattered mirror.

2010-10-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : My Kind of Perfect - David Archuleta

So what now? You're not going to text me anymore if I don't text you first?

I don't know how much I really mean to you, I regret what I said yesterday.

Truly regretted. FML.

I'm sorry.

You'll never hurt someone you love and at the end you are the one doing so. Somehow you know how much you had hurt and lied to them but they still love you even though all of this happened. This I still could not forgive myself.

- quoted by Cheng Yee.

有一种感情介于朋友和情人之间.
当你忧愁烦恼时，你会想起他，
希望他能陪在你身边，给个坚实的臂弯让你靠.
也许，终其一生也不会产生的"执子之手，与子偕老"的爱情故事，
但你会因为拥有这样一个朋友，更加的热爱自己的生活，珍惜自己的生命.
这种情感，只能拿心去感受；这种情感，只能用心去储藏.

- quoted by Judie

I'm not in love, but love makes me cry, and pain, makes me die.

XOXO

No Love

2010-10-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Count On Me - Bruno Mars

I wish I didn't ruined a pretty awesome friendship!

That's what I expect, I got it all, I should be happy, and I wish I am.

Nights peepz!

XOXO

One day at a time.

2010-10-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Just a Feeling - Maroon 5

Just a short update. =) Life is kinda boring. LOL And college is boring due to the short break. Some with only about 1 hour break each day, some not even half an hour. >.<

And ahhhhhhh, no classes on friday, so still going to work on friday and saturday half day. Dad don't wanna give me pocket money already. =(

And this sakai wait for me to finish work at starbucks yesterday. Playing lame games down there. LOL

So big already play games like this somemore. LOL And the way he "parked" the car. AWESOME. Crashed. XD

Sat there with him for about an hour, then we both left. Mummy suddenly said wanna go makan with her friends at Solaris Dutamas, HER FRIENDS, I don't even know who they are. One word. Boring. But the food there was okay. Work in Mon't Kiara so long already, never been there before, yesterday was the first time. XD I still prefer Solaris Mon't Kiara tho, nicer. Hahaha

When we were having dinner right, one of mummy's friend was actually talking about her 19 years old daughter and her boyfriend. Everyone was like talking until damn syok one you know, 'cause the mother saw a picture of her daughter kissing her boyfriend. Guess what mummy said?

Mummy :" Aiyoh, 19 still so young, concentrate on studies first lah, so fast pak toh for what uh?"

I was like, MOM! 19 years old still young ah? LOL

Mummy actually only caught me dating once, when I actually dated 4 for the past few years. Hahahaha. But I'm 18 already now, I also wish I could bring my own boyfriend back home, and at least have dinner like one whole family one loh. (Like I have one -.-)

So mummy, think about it. :) I WAS in a relationship for so long with Del, did so much stuff together, there's no reason mummy don't know what's going on right? I suppose she thought that I'm big girl enough already? XD

Time for bed, nights peeps! ♥

xoxo

Kiss and Tell.

2010-09-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : I Like That - Static Revenger & Richard Vission featuring Luciana.

LOL, my blog is kinda rusty already due to my laziness. XD I've got no idea what to blog about seriously. But I'll try to blog more. I said I'LL TRY. xD

I actually WASTED 3 weeks of my break working, at the same place in Mon't Kiara, instead of going out, hanging out with friends and play! FML. Mon't Kiara is nice and peaceful, in the other word, BORING. But one thing, a lot of hot guys around! Oh myy, so irresistible. Haha. Mon't Kiara is so far away but there's still some one willing to come and have lunch with me, all the way here! So touched. XD Even though it's like just 2 days out of that 3 weeks, it's still better than having lunch alone almost everyday right. No other friends that can actually have lunch with except colleague, and Erwyna. Erwyna still have to go to school right, so yea, most of the time having lunch alone.

And okay now, I noticed I can't live without MC DONALDS! Fast and easy. And die early. LOL

Semester 2 just started. This is only the first week, I can't really feel the pressure yet, AND! Result is coming out on next tuesday!! Ohhhhhhh my, I wish I didn't fail any subject, I don't wanna do it all over again! I might have some mistake here and there in the test, but I did study, even though I did that kinda last minute, but I still did! Haha. So pleaseeee let me pass everything :D (Like my result slip is going to jump up by itself and reprint better grades on its body, LOL)

And yea. There's someone that, okay we're not in a relationship or in love with each other or what. All we do is, talk to each other everyday, and that's pretty awesome that we actually know each other for a few months only. :D Thank you for everything, really. Having you being there for me all the time is sweet! You know who you are. =)

Show you guys something awesomeeeeeeeee. ♥

Awesome much huh? ♥

And the crowd. :D this is just one of the phase. On 18th Sept.

10th Sept. Chili's, KLCC with mom and Joey after bookfair :D

Movies with daddy, mummy and bro at Midvalley. 11th Sept. ♥

Can't really see their faces. xD

And the expres soup @ the Gardens! Thumbs up!

Hahahaha. DEC's and tarcians! Lets pass everything all together! XD Good luck everyone. ♥ you guys, DEC's.

And I hope I can stop buying clothes, I spent way too much this month! Haha

Read seventeen! xD

Nights peeps. ♥

Lots of L.O.V.E ♥

2010-07-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to :If I Die Young - The Band Perry

I don't know why, I'm way too in love with the DEC's. ♥

This is what we do, and who we are. =)

It's been only two months I actually know all of you guys, but now we are like sticking together every single day just like a family. You know how much I love you guys, being together with you guys, its really fun even though just lepak-ing here and there, telling stuffs and gossiping. And for those that really been there, giving me hugs, you know how much you guys mean to me. =D

Love you guys, you guys simply made my day. ♥

Tell me you guys love me too. Hah. xD

Sweethearts

2010-07-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Stay - Miley Cyrus

Love you guys, you guys made my day! =D

We've left high school for quite a while, it's already half a year, I still miss my life in high school, having my girlfriends all around me. Nothing's gonna bring me down now, I do miss all of you guys, but we got to move on, and all of us are going have a better future!

Miss and love all of you guys. =D

The break up

2010-06-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Beautiful Monster - Ne-yo

If things hadn't gone wrong, today suppose to be the fifth month we'd be together.

Remembering every single minutes we spent together.

Miss the day when you first brought me home.
Miss those days when you snuck in to my house in the middle of night telling me that you miss me.
Miss those days when you came pick me up for lunch everyday.
Miss the way you tell me how much you love me.
Miss the way you kissed me in front of everyone, telling everyone that I'm your girl.
Just a simple text from you in the morning made my day.

I'm not that kind girl that guys fall head over heels for, I'm just a normal one, and yet you fell for me. It's pretty amazing having you as boyfriend. You're just that great. You make me so dependent ever since I met you, I get everything I want, you're sort of like my whole world, so I'm all done now. Soulless.

I used to think that dating a guy like Chuck Bass is something amazing. No matter how much he flirt, how much he sweet-talked, how many girls he actually slept with, he still end up loving the same girl.

You're my Chuck Bass. ♥

After everything we actually gone through, the only thing both of us couldn't really take was distance. You said you're still in love with me, I heard you crying over the phone.

I do love you too.

Getting over you is not going to be easy.

Red lights

2010-06-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Make me wanna die - The Pretty Reckless

College started almost a month, things kind of settled down. Homeworks everyday, assignments just right in front of me, don't know what to do at all. Feeling really empty, without him, here.

He used to call back 4 or 5 times a week. And now, it's like just once a week? E-mails everyday that he promised was like flew off? I don't really mind, but what's wrong? Doesn't sound right over the phone, I mean, for you, it doesn't make sense. You don't act that way. Even your sis could sense something's not right, you're not good at lying, not at all.

Red lights.

I spent whole day in Mon't Kiara today. Had breakfast at Mc Donalds, and sat at the place we used to sit thinking, places that we used to hang out together that often, I'm sitting alone now. Starbucks, Secret Recipe and Sister's in Plaza MK, the way you walked me to mum's office, brought back lots of memories.

Everyone was like saying. "Chermayne, 4 years wor, you can tahan so long ahhh?" I don't really think I could, but it's only a month after you really left, why are you changing that quick? It's just a month!

I know I tend to do things all my way, I don't care about the rest. But I've got something to tell you, I don't know how, I'm scared, I didn't even tell my BFFs. I need you, really. Now.

I love you. Always have, always will.

18th birthday

2010-05-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Airplanes - B.o.B featuring Eminem & Hayley Williams

It's my 18th birthday. Obviously not a good one.

Not telling why, I'm just not in a good mood.

Not a great day for me after all.

But still, thanks everyone, for every wishes. I appreciate it. Thank you. =)

Naughty

2010-05-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : All or Nothing - Theory of Deadman

You know, after he left, everything was so empty, and obviously I got nothing to blog of. And people are complaining that my blog is dead. =.=

Till yesterday he's back, and that's only for 3 days, because his eldest sis is having an engagement dinner and something like ceremony on the next morning, with her fiance. OMFG, her fiance is so damn handsome! =D

I just get to go for the dinner at his place, and that was like, just a normal one, with all family members around. I didn't know that his parents really treat me as one of their family. :D

I didn't know he's back until I was at his place! I got really excited, really really excited! :D Had our dinner together, his sis was like just smiling and laughing for the whole night. Really happy for her. =D

He drove me home around 10 and guess what, he snucked in again at 2 something. He's really good at sneaking in, sneaky guy. =.=

He was like complaining for the whole night saying that "Stop being naughty honey, that's not what you always do, your parents is just upstairs". Then I was like, okay, fine. You go watch your TV and I play my games. No fun. =(

And that was like for hours, and he went back at 5 in the morning. We did watch 3 episodes of Ghost Whisperer, again, together. =)

Here's some songs that I kinda addicted to these days, quite a long time never blog of songs already. Miss that huh? xD

1. My First Kiss - 3OH!3 feat Ke$ha
2. Impossible - Shontelle
3. What You Waiting For - Mizz Nina feat Colby O'Donis
4. Perfect - Hedley
5. Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) - Usher feat Plies
6. Kissin' You- Miranda Cosgrove
7. This Afternoon - Nickelback
8. I Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus
9. Gypsy - Shakira
10. Bulletproof - Iyaz
11. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
12. Half of My Heart - John Mayer feat Taylor Swift
13. Ride - Ciara feat Ludacris
14. Airplanes - B.o.B ft Eminem & Hayley Williams
15. I Like It - Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull
16. Find Your Love - Drake
17. All or Nothing - Theory of Deadman
18. Neighbours Know My Name - Trey Songs
19. Halfway Gone - Lifehouse

He's gone and I'm done.

2010-05-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Overboard - Justin Bieber featuring Jessica Jarrel

Alright, now he's gone.

The day before, on the 3rd. He had a party at his place, his eldest sis was the designer, the whole place was like a ballroom. Bar, cocktails, red wines, DJ's, dancefloor, piano, videos, it's just like what in the TV. Everything was so awesome, his sis was way too awesome too to think of this. I thought it would be just something simple, have dinner and that's it. Thank god what I put on was a dress not short pants with T-shirt.

Had been months we know each other, he didn't know that I actually play piano. And so I played, in front of almost 50 people. Gosh, I was so nervous. =( I played 'Nothing's gonna change my love for you', that's the song that I kind of confident in. I play that almost everytime I got a chance to sit right in front of the piano. =) Thank god it went so well. No wrong notes, not too much pedal. Nothing. The sweetest thing was he walked by and kissed me right after that in front of everyone. In front of 50 people. Imagine that? =D

I was supposed to be home at 11. I just don't feel like leaving. So I lied. I called mum at 10.30 and told her I'm home, at granny's. Guess what, she believed. =)

I was in his room talking on the phone with mum. He came in, I put down the phone, and we were alone again. He really made me cry this time. For him.

He said,
"Look, I'm leaving tomorrow, you know that. I'll come back every summer holiday if I could. I'll send you e-mail every single day, I promise. I'm not asking you to wait for me for four years, myself don't even know if I could. Four years isn't short. You might found any other guy in this four years, and I might too. I don't want a break up now. Lets stay in this until one day both of us lost interest in each other, we'll tell. Okay? And take this necklace, keep it, until the day comes, post it back to my address in States. If we both really could take this four years, I promise I'll marry you when I'm back. I promise. And come stop by here if you're free when I'm not around, my family likes you, especially my mum, she loves you, I could tell. And I love you too."

I was crying like hell I tell you. =( But I could still tease him and say "I'm only 22 four years later, I don't wanna get married so young. What about extend it to 3 years later?" =)

He was like half crying and half laughing, he don't know what to say. That's a good thing, I could just kiss him. =) And his sis went in and ask, you are not having sex are you? I was like urghhh, no? We were just making out, feel so like slamming the door right at her face. Ruined mood man. =.=

He went on and said "I don't want you to sleep with any other guy but me, promise?"

Of course la, why on earth he would think of I would sleep with other guy. This man is awesome but sometimes he's just so strange man. =.=

He drove me home around 3 in the morning. We talked more than we used to in the car, cause we know that we don't have chance like this anymore. And there's the last kiss, last touch. No more. =(

The next day mum just don't let me go to the airport. I was so freaking angry with her! Why the hell I'm eighteen and the word grounded still exist! =(

Hung on the phone for the whole day till he went check in for his flight at 8.15. I was crying alone at home.

Guess what? I will wait till I really can't. I don't promise I'm not going to date any other guy in this four years, but I'll try.

I love you, you know I do. =)

MAY

2010-04-28T03:45:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Pyramid - Charice featuring Iyaz

2 more days to May.

He's leaving to the States now, not Canada anymore. I don't know why his sweet little daddy changed his mind, US is better I think, since they were all born in US also.

That's the painful thing of having boyfriend that live so far away.

I don't even know if he's coming back to Malaysia. Even though his mother's side family are all here. Who knows he just went and never come back. Four years isn't short. He needs four years to complete his degree in dentistry, he won't be coming back in this four years, four years later, who knows he doesn't feel like coming back anymore. And who knows he found another girl in US, western girls are kinda pretty you know.

His whole family was thinking bout leaving Malaysia after his younger sister finish all her grades in Mon't Kiara International School. And she's finishing in two more years. So how big the chances for him to come back four years later?

Having him in my life gonna be the most memorable one, whether he is coming back or not.

Having a guy that love you more than you love him.
Having a guy that afraid of you got bored in the office during lunch, purposely come all the way just to take you out for lunch.
Having a guy that brought you cookies in the midnight just because you're starving.
Having a guy that hug you when you were crying for other guy.
Having a guy that drives you home whenever you need him to.
Having a guy that says that he loves you everytime he put down the phone.
And having a guy that kiss and hug you when you feel you like to.

Don't you think guy like that was like nearly a perfect guy?

He is. But what can I do? I can't just leave with him. That's America, not Singapore or somewhere near Malaysia.

He's leaving on the 4th, I don't even know if I managed to sent him away in the airport.

Both of us will be crying for the whole day.
Even if he said he won't, alright, lets bet.
See who wins.
I know you very well Delbrel Bozeman. =D

Please?

2010-04-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Don't stop believing - Glee Cast

Your words is just as good as Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl, oh well, even better than his.

You told me you got your reason, but you don't wanna tell what. Okay, I'm fine with that.

Telling me you're serious this time, asking me what I want. Since when what I want mean so much to you? The whole point suppose to be how you want it to be isn't it? You're the one that mess things up, I didn't even know how things ended.

So you think girls are really that stupid? Being cheated a couple of times, and yet still believe in what promises you're trying to make?

This is not the first time that you tell me that you're serious, even if you felt that, I don't!

You said you changed, I could too!

Wong Teik Tjun, perhaps you really changed, I don't care anymore! Don't you think it's too late? I'm so sick of your words don't you noticed? I don't wanna screw things up like this with you anymore, you think it's fun to quarrel in every single text? It's tiring you know. You're no longer small kid, think of what's good for you, please?

What you want from me some more?

.

More than in love

2010-03-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to : Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz feat Ludacris

People see us holding hands, they was like asking him " Your girlfriend ah? "

He always said, "No? She don't want to." And we both end up laughing at ourselves at the back.

I don't know why I like it to be in this way. I don't want to be tied under promises again and again. It's good to remain this too.

We're living in our own world, we're not official. We do what we want. Who said I can't kiss him if he isn't my boyfriend?

Delbrel Lim,

Got a hug from you that day from the back, I was actually expecting you to turn me around and kiss me. I don't know why you didn't. But I still love the way you hugged me. Who doesn't huh? =D

I know you're reading this, and I want you to kiss me. The sweet one like the other day? =D

You don't have to come pick me up for lunch every single day lah. I'll be alright even I'm alone in the office, okay? Get yourself some time to spend with your family. I don't want your mummy to come to me one day and blame me. =D

It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting.

I'll never leave.

I don't want you to leave too, please?
Don't talk about leaving to Canada, not even an inch!

His friends and family was always just looking how happy we both look together, they just don't realize how hurt is it in the inside of us. May is just in 2 months time.

.

I'm a bitch

2010-03-04T21:40:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to : If We Ever Meet Again - Timbaland feat Katy Perry

Darling turned 20 yesterday. He had a small party at his house last night, with his family, friends and relatives around. His parents likes me since the last visit, I don't know why, they ask him to bring me along, so I went, as a friend. He spent most of his time with his guy friends, and I spent most of it sitting at the living room with his mum and younger sister. I do love his sis, she is Erwyna, just as sweet as candy. =) Both of them were nice to me, as always. They make me feel like I'm part of their family. His mum still mentioned that darling never brought girls back to home before, I'm the first one. xD

After cutting his birthday cake, both of us and his friends went back to his room and opened up all his presents. HE GOT UP TO 20 PRESENTS LOR! So syok. xD

I bought him Playboy's perfume, he smells so good with that on. =) And guess what, his mum, bought him a big box of condoms. I was like 'wow', how come your mum so open-minded one?

They started gambling then, but I didn't, I was sitting next to him, but he still text me instead of telling me face-to-face.

" Hey, today is my birthday baby, don't let me down alright? This is the third times already, never say no again okay? One more chance please? I swear that you really mean a lot to me, I do really love you."

He make me feel like crying seriously. But still, "no" darling. He gave me the sad sad look that make me feel so bad. We do act like a pair of couple. We hold hands in the mall, he hugs me, wrap his arm around me. We do love each other. It's just that, he's leaving to Canada in may and only coming back 4 years later. I'm sorry, I've got no guts to take risk like this. That's a tough stuff and going to kill me.

I choose the wrong time, that make him down for the rest of his night. I'm sorry!!

I just simply tidy up his room and the living room a little, the guests were actually still there, but I went back early. He drove me home around 11 and I ended the night with a kiss on his cheek. He kissed me back, on my lips. And I noticed, he was crying! =( We're actually in to each other, otherwise we won't act this way. It's just the future thingy make me think twice.

And there's still somebody that I can't get him out of my head yet. He left me a very deep wound.

I know I'm a bitch. Making out with someone who is not my boyfriend yet having another guy in my mind instead. You can leave right now if you're not happy with it.

After what that Mr.Wong did to me, boyfriend is just a name for me right now. Which doesn't even matter to me anymore.

Alright Delbrel Lim,
I do love you, but I'm sorry. =(

Happy 20th Birthday.

Happy 17th Birthday

2010-02-16T05:04:00.000-08:00

This is suppose to be post on 15th of Feb, but I'm kinda busy this few days at hometown so yea, this post is dedicated to someone really important to me. You know who you are if you are reading this.

I'm glad used to be one of your girlfriend though it ended up nothing. I don't want to screw things up like this anymore. So, forget bout what we both have done that hurt each other. I won't blame you like I used to anymore. Causing you lots of trouble.

I'm sorry.

You turned 17 yesterday. Just want to wish you have a great day and great year ahead. I do care about you like a friend, at least right now, I started to think out of box.

As I told you, you do have bright future.. Do think about what you're doing before it's too late. I don't want you to waste it. You told me before that you don't want to disappoint your parents especially your mum.

Don't you remember?

And you're pulling yourself down now. I don't want you to end up regret one day. Sometimes I didn't mention doesn't mean I don't care you know?

I miss you badly, still.

I just said yes when someone ask me out for dinner instead of no thanks. Both of us talked all day long, very sweet one which we never had. He even brought me home to his parents. But every single thing that comes to my mine is still you.

Why are you so irreplaceable?

Once again, Happy birthday.

And take care.

Loads of love from Chermayne.

Blame It on the Pop

2010-02-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to : One and the Same - Demi lovato feat Selena Gomez

United State of Pop 2009 (Blame It on the Pop)

by DJ Earworm

Mash up of Top 25 Billboard Hits

I've been looking for this song since last year! And finally! This is awesome, probably one of the best mash up of all time!

Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Just Dance - Lady Gaga Featuring Colby O’Donis
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Love Story - Taylor Swift
Right Round - Flo Rida
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Single Ladies - Beyonce
Heartless - Kanye West
Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Dead And Gone - T.I. Featuring Justin Timberlake
You Found Me - The Fray
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon
Knock You Down - Keri Hilson Featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo
Blame It - Jamie Foxx Featuring T-Pain
I Know You Want Me - Pitbull
Live Your Life - T.I. Featuring Rihanna
Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy Tell ‘em Featuring Sammie
Down - Jay Sean Featuring Lil Wayne
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
Best I Ever Had - Drake
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Halo - Beyonce
Hot And Cold - Katy Perry

I know you want pop, you want dance, you want rock and roll

You wanted boom boom? This year’s remix got symphonic soul

I got pop, I got dance, I got rockin’ electronic club beats,

I got hip-hop music with the future flow,

So don’t worry, even if the sky is falling down, down, down

Gonna be ok when it knocks you down, down, down,

So baby don’t worry, it’s alright, a-alright when it knocks you down

When you go down, when you go down down

No need to worry, just pick back up when you’re tumbling down, down, down (down, down)

It’s like I’ve been awakened

Every step I’m taking

Every rule I had you breaking

Every move I’m making

The risk that I’m taking

The chances I’m taking

With a big smile on my face

And it never seems out of place

Blame it on the pop, blame it on the dance, blame it on the rock and roll

Blame it on the rumba, so in sync with the symphonic soul

I like that pop, I like that bass, I like them rockin’ electronic club beats

Blame it on the hip-hop music with the future flow

Baby, don’t worry, it’s alright, a-alright when it knocks you down

Somewhere far along this road,

Stressed out, I wanna let it go, I feel down, down, down (baby are you down, down, down, down, down)

And oh, (hey) I’ve been traveling on this road too long (too long)

Just trying to find my way back home (back home)

The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone

I gotta feeling

Woo hoo

I found God

Blame it on the pop, blame it on the dance, blame it on the rock and roll

Blame it on the feeling of the music deep insi-i-i-ide your soul

We got the pop, we got the dance, we got the rockin’ electronic club beats

We got the hip-hop music with the future flow

People in the place

Put your put your hands in the air

Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Forever united here,

Blame it on the po-po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face

So live your life (hey!)

Let’s live it up (Ho!)

If you wanna get down (Hey!)

down (Ho!) down (Hey!)

Muh muh muh muh (Ho!)

I wanna get down, (hey!) down, down (Ho!)

So baby, don’t worry, it’s alright, a-alright when it knocks you down

When you go down, when you go down down

No need to worry, just pick back up when you’re tumbling down, down, down (down, down)

Blame it on the pop, blame it on the dance, blame it on the boom boom boom

Gotta get that rumba, blame it on the 808 with the boom boom boom

Gotta get that pop, gotta get that dance, gotta get that boom boom pow

I gotta get, I gotta get this year’s remix with the future sound.

I gotta feeling,

But I never really had a doubt,

that tonight’s gonna be a good night,

that tonight’s gonna be a good night,

and I say the same thing every single time

you know that I could use somebody, (woo hoo)

Open up your plans and damn your free (Hey!)

Look into your heart and you’ll find love, love, love

Stop stop stop feeling down, down, down

Can’t you see love, love love?

Isn’t this easy feeling love, love love?

Down down down,

It’s like I’ve been awakened

Can’t you see every step I’m taking

Don’t be afraid

The risk that I’m taking

Can’t you see, I’ve had a little too much feeling down, down, down

Can’t you see every move I’m making

Every rule I had you breaking

Isn’t this easy feeling love, love, love

We’ll make it out of this mess.

Change your mind

Baby just say yes,

Da da da da da da da da da da..……

I didn't make it to Kris Allen's performance at The Gardens. HOW SAD! Lots of messages have been sent to hitz fm but what to do? I'VE GOT NO LUCK! =(

but KRIS,

I'm still soooo in love with you. xD

I still prefer Joe with Demi, instead of Taylor. They look sweet together. =) And Miley, looks good with Liam. xD

Ahhhhhh~

2010-01-31T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to : Bad boys-Alexandra Burke feat Flo Rida

Ahhhhh~ Kris Allen live in KL on 8th of Feb!!

LOL, I was like screaming in front of the radio when I knew that he's coming. xD I still prefer Kris, not Adam. =)

I missed Boys Like Girls one already, I don't want to missed this! Ask daddy to get me ticket. =)

Recently busy working, now I know, how hard to earn money. People are like that, they pay you minimum and make you work maximum! Working in a dental surgeons is a different experience. You have to know how this clinic works. Every single stuff in it you have to know. Okay, at first I thought just picking up the phone calls and make an appointment is very easy, and now I knew that it's not. Mon't Kiara is a very different place compared to cheras. People who stay in Mon't Kiara are all educated people, and most of them are mat salleh. You know all those slang of American, I was like, huh? Don't know what are they talking bout, but all this gets better after I got use to it. The worst was Japanese, THEY CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND BASIC ENGLISH! Some of them did understand, those that migrated to Malaysia already some time, they do take some english classes. Those who didn't, take me 3 years to explain to them what is going on! Totally fed up! But my english got better, I can even chit chat a little with the Americans. I don't know why but mat salleh always look so pretty, they really do. =) And yea, I make friends with one of my customers, he's from denmark, migrated to malaysia since 2008. He's now study in Mon't Kiara international school, he is sooo sweet! We had lunch together once and that's sweeet. =)

And living cost in Mon't Kiara damn high lor. Spent me almost 7 bucks a day just for lunch. Phew.
Salary use to pay for food also enough already lor. =X

Sitting beside the doctor and help him during those consultation, extraction and sometimes surgery isn't easy, simple mistake make him scold me like hell. What to do? He pay me, of course he can scold me laaa. =(

But Mon't Kiara is a nice place, somewhere a little bit high class? Perhaps, 'cause malaysian can't afford living in such place, that's whay most of my customers are mat salleh, malaysian here all got status one laa, all those datuk datin, damn fussy, what to do, what they have is money, they can do whatever they want! See la, MALAYSIAN!

Here's some view in Mon't Kiara. =)

I'm in the fifth floor, you count. xD

My favorite restaurant.

I do love this place, at least it's quiet and safe enough. =)

Oh yea, Grammy Award tomorrow 9 in the morning. Someone wake me up please? =(

Here's some of the english songs that I love this days. Everyone was like asking me bout some nice songs recently. =)

1. Haven't met you yet-Michael Buble
2. Baby-Justin Bieber
3. Solo-Iyaz
4. Bad Boys-Alexandra Burke feat Flo Rida
5. Your love is my drug-Kesha
6. In my head-Jason Derulo
7. Alice-Arvil Lavigne (Just released few days back!)
8. A little bit longer-Jonas Brothers
9. Magic-Selena Gomez
10. Today was a fairy tale-Taylor Swift
11. Telephone-Beyonce feat Lady Gaga
12. Try sleeping with a broken heart-Alicia Keys
13. Someday-Rob Thomas
14. Hey, soul sister-Train
15. Baby by me-50 cent feat Ne-yo
16. All the right moves-One Republic
17. Bad romance-Lady Gaga
18. From the ashes-Kris Allen
19. The truth-Kris Allen
20. For your entertainment-Adam Lambert
21. Therapy-India Arie feat Gramps Morgan

This song is sooo sweet.
By disney star.

=)

Lesson Learnt

2010-01-25T06:32:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to : Crawl - Chris Brown

Not to say that I don't love you anymore, but not like how much I used to already.

I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.

Love usually begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. But not mine.

Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.

If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back they'd never ask you to. That's the lesson learnt.

I self destruct every relationship so that I don't get hurt, but in truth I just hurt myself worse in the long run.

LIFE STILL HAVE TO MOVE ON.

High School Life

2009-12-26T02:05:00.000-08:00

This will be a very very long article. It's all bout my life in high school. SMK Taman Connaught that everyone seems to hate. I don't know why, but I love the school, I love all my friends in school. I know I'm a bit late to post this, but, I still want to. Here my memories.

Okay, when I was in form 1, first enter the school, everyone was just like you know, jaw dropped and wow, especially for the new comers. The 'life style' was just like totally different from primary's. When you walk in to the school, people just staring at you, oh well, at your hair. You know those mushroom hair that you brought from primary to high school? Those seniors (girls) will just pointing at you and say, "Look at her hair, our hair used to be that way!" and laugh. Form 1 girl, they don't know anything to do with fashion. We pinned our hair nicely to school everyday. Till I think bout second semester, the girls started to know how to leave their hair unpinned, fashioned up our hair and end up got caught by the discipline teachers. I started to be a bit naughty when it came to second semester. I quit classes, play in the rain and bla bla bla.. And ya, scout. Lots of friends made in scout. Scout bring me lot of fun. And scout was the one that really light up my life when I was in form 1, when our Rover D were still there. Scout has activities every saturday, and I, attended every saturday. My attendence was kinda 100%. I don't know why, but I enjoy spending time getting crazy in those activities organized. And I used to cried because of Yee Sum wants me to become the Ketua Patrol when I don't want to. Stupid right?

And here comes form 2. I've got my gang in 2D, but the sad thing was, May poh left us after a few months in 2D. But then we still have, MC, Julia, Hin, Chu, Chien Hoong, Alex, and another one from 2C, Zhao Wei. We laughed, we chat, we gossip about everything. Had a boy friend, but he dump me after 3 months, and I don't know whats the reason. How sad. =(

Third year, Joanna and Michelle left us. And Ai Reen, who started to be Joanna's bestfriend first, joined us and become a best friend of mine and Julia after both of them left. 3 of us were in different classes, but we still have our recess time together. And here comes 3H, its quite a different world actually. 3H wasn't a bad class, but the students in there, not all, but a few of them, they make people hate them. But I made lots of friends in 3H seriously. They are all good friends. Like Calvin, Saw, Chen, Shee Gee, Kian Teck, Chaan Wei, Cu Yin and etc. And since then, Calvin became my sayang-ahmui-punye-ahgor. xD. Okay, I met someone then, this guy, I can't get him out of my mind till today. I used to like him like hell when I'm in form 1 or 2. He came to me once in form 2 but ended up nothing. And form 3, he came to me again, so, since I'm still so in love with him, I ditched my boyfriend and accept him after 2 months he started to tackle me. He's a nearly-perfect-boyfriend for me. He takes really good care of me when I'm sick, he called me at 3 in the midnight just to make sure I've taken my medicine, he buy me lunch, he wrapped his arm around me when I'm sad, he done almost everything for me. But we broke up 2 months later, conflicts. He dumped me, he said its really tiring, perhaps I'm not good enough. I miss him still, seriously.

Year 2008. High school life seems to be just started. The class, the teachers, the students, make my high school life seems to be more meaningful. 4E2, I do love this class. I enjoy putting effort on it, I enjoy being in this class with all the classmates that I love. We sing, we dance, we crap, everything. Nothing else words could describe. Lots of time spent in scout too.

Final year. 2009. Same class, same classmates, same 'life style', same topic, everything is still the same, but our friendship grows deeper and I love that. We all are already more than classmates, more than friends, we are just like one family. And again, scout. The biggest event, for us. First one, and the last one. Spent lots of time on it, and thank god it worth. The most amazing campfire all of us have done. I learn alot, and I appreciate it. Once scout, always scout. (Don't know where this kind of spirit came to me. xD) There were 2 loveship this year. The previous one on january and another one, 31st of august. I won't forget. That's the day. Then there come the SPM, its not that scary after all. After that, the prom. Prom night that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. Everyone was pretty hot and amazing. I just can't stop dancing, dance till I sweat!!!

I miss you guys already, seriously. And I miss the school. I miss the class. I miss scout. I miss PA. I miss everything. I do really love 5E2. I miss all of you, buddies. ♥

Not going to update blog that often already.
Start working already.
Wish me luck!

Girls all time favourite, SHOP!

2009-12-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

Went for girls all time favourite with my girls last friday, SHOP! As i said the night before on facebook, 'shop till I drop', and now really totally drop already! I spent so much until only 6 bucks left in my wallet. I spent really a lot. And my toes are kinda hurt, walk non stop from 12pm to 6pm, six hours with high heels, I don't even wanna get up anymore when i step into Julia's car. I didn't bought much stuff, but they cost me really a lot. My dress cost me 25 bucks, okay, high heels again, 45 bucks, nail polish and etc.. And after that I went to Watson, I spent nearly 30-40 bucks right there. And then prom, mum don't wanna sponsor, kena korek lagi. Now totally KOSONG already!

All of us suffer from pain after shopping, my toes, julia's backbone, novem's leg and etc.. What I could say was, this girl novem, PADAN MUKA! haha. She knew that we're going to shop here and there for the whole day already, and yet she still come with 4 inches high high heels, PADAN MUKA or not?

I'm glad that I had a lot of fun with you girls, we camwhore alot, we chit-chat, we laugh, we acted crazy, being stupid... I'm really happy to have such friends like you girls, you girls light up my life. =)

Here's some picture, those not nice not nice one I didn't upload la. xD

All the decorations in Pavillion, Times Square, Sungei Wang, even Lot 10 is awesome! But The Curve's christmas decoration is always the best! xD

And the next day I'm so f**cking tired I woke up about 1 in the afternoon. I called joey ong up at 1.30, asking him to come with me and my mum to the Taylor University College, the Lakeside Campus, but he went out with his mum already, so ended up both of us going only. The funny thing was, my mum have been staying, traveling around KL for so many years, and she told me that she don't know the way to Taylor. Then end up simply shoot and hit that place around 2.15.

Taylor's campus is amazing! I mean the lakeside one. I think no one is going to concentrate anymore in the classroom because the classroom are all windowed with glasses, and you can see the scenery and what is going on out there. The scenery, I was just like, WOW. The lake is damn huge, and there's some, I think I should named it banana boat right there for the students to sail.

The campus is damn huge and you can got lost in it. The furnishing is the one I really admire. All in modern-style. But the bad thing was, all in concrete, and concrete makes the surrounding hot. The only thing could release the hotness was the lake, you could barely see trees growing there.
But the whole campus is fantastic, and I like it. The classroom, the lecturer hall, the kitchen, the bar, the cafeteria, the restaurant, the lake, the multipurpose hall, the computer lab, the tourism classroom, even the toilet is amazingly beautiful! And the library is awesome! The furniture, Oh my goodness, I was just like jaw dropped, you can't find any library so nice out there, it's nearly perfect.

But the fees, you know Taylor, seriously expensive. 40k for diploma omly, what if I wanna further my studies till degree? 70k for degree, added up 110k already. I could buy 1 house already. LOL. My mum stared at the price and said only one sentences, lets see how first lah... That 40k doesn't really include those maintainance fees, uniform and etc. I think it would be around 50k already. And you know, Taylor is so far away from Cheras, by that time I think I'm going to need a car already. Where the hell my parents is going to pop up so much money just to see me educated? Perhaps TARC would be much better.

Lets see how. Who knows I could earn enough money to go study overseas? I wanna go Switzerland, or maybe US if I could. xD. Anywhere as long as english speaking country, I'm okay with it. Definitely not those Chine, Taiwan, Japan... I could say I hate those country, I don't like that kind of life style. I know I was just dreaming, so ignore it.

According to you - Orianthi

2009-12-09T01:27:00.000-08:00

According to you
I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right.
According to you
I’m difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind.
I’m a mess in a dress,can’t show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I’m beautiful, incredible, he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite, I don’t feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He’s into me for everything I’m not,
according to you.

According to you
I’m boring, I’m moody, you can’t take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I’m the girl with the worst attention span;
you’re the boy who puts up with it.
According to you. According to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I’m not hated. oh no
Why can’t you see me through his eyes?
It’s too bad you’re making me dizz-ay

According to me
you’re stupid, you’re useless, you can’t do anything right.
But according to him
I’m beautiful, incredible, he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite, I don’t feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He’s into me for everything I’m not,
according to you. [you, you]
According to you. [you, you]

According to you
I’m stupid, I’m useless,
I can’t do anything right

Love equals to Rubbish

2009-12-08T05:47:00.000-08:00

I wanted to call quit already.

Feeling of believe-in-him-no-matter-what-happens is no longer there anymore, and I don't know why. I used to trust him no matter what he said and what happened even what he tells, were not the truth.

As I said, he's charming. Girls are all around him. Girls cried for him. Not to say he's cruel or what, but words he said could hurt girls feelings. I cried. And he said doesn't worth. Which means, what? I don't know if it suits to use the word " rights ", what I wanted to say was just, I've got the rights to cry for you or because of you, just because I'm your girlfriend, that's what the rest of the girls don't have. That's their problem already, and I don't even wanna care.

We need to talk already my dear. We're no longer kinder garden kids, things are not going to work out this way anymore. Time to sit down and talk about it, what both of us want things to be. One more week, and I'm going to graduate already, I don't even wanna think if things going to end this way.

When do you want it to be in a proper way? I just wanted to feel like I'm your girlfriend, what so hard?

Thought going out for movie with him after my Economics paper, then end up going with Sow Yin. Where the hell he is? Looking for presents for his "friend"? No doubt his friend is a girl. Friends always comes first.

I want to talk to you, properly, please?

Some pain in life is inescapable, and some losses in life are necessary.

Thanks to Sow Yin,
or else I'm going to be alone already that day!
♥

NEW MOON

2009-12-08T04:46:00.000-08:00

Yay!
I watched NEW MOON last friday after my Science Paper
The paper, seriously tough
And I left 2 questions blank!

Come back to new moon.
Perhaps it would be a bit boring for those who didn't read the book,
But you know, ME, Aha!
I was just like, WOW!
Screaming in the cinema!
And wow, Taylor shirtless!
My godness, HE'S HOT!
Feel like licking his abs. =X

You know, Taylor Lautner,
This guy is going to be huge, he can act!

I'm still team Edward!

Hell

2009-11-25T05:20:00.000-08:00

What the hell I am without him?

Fell out of love.

Had a crush on someone else.
Should I just ditch this stupid boyfriend and go after that boy? xD

Protective boyfriend sounds better

Hitz

2009-11-24T05:30:00.000-08:00

Top 21 songs I love to burn with midnight oil

xD

1. Live Like We're Dying - Kris Allen
2. Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo
3. Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift
4. Meet Me Halfway - Black Eyed Peas
5. One Time - Justin Bieber
6. This Is Me - Demi Lovato
7. Superstar - Taylor Swift
8. Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift
9. Good Morning - Charmillionaire
10. Body Languages - Jesse Mccartney
11. Tik-Tok - Kesha
12. Party In The USA - Miley Cyrus
13. Down - Jay Sean
14. Need You Now - Lady Antebullum
15. Hot Mess - Cobra Starship
16. Fifteen - Taylor Swift
17. Paparrazi - Lady Gaga
18. Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert
19. 21 Guns - Green Day
20. Replay - Iyaz
21. Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickelback

Hitz . fm every night.

♥

NEW MOON NEW MOON !
3 more days to go!
" screams "

Twilighter~
thirsty already?

Both Edward and Jacob are HOT!

xD

It sucks !

2009-11-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes being too charming isn't a good thing. He is too charming to be my boyfriend. Boys that turning round and round around girls days and night, isn't it stupid to have boyfriend like this? But seriously, girls love boys like him, and so I do.

I don't know if now is the right time to call quit. SPM is only in a few days time. I don't think I want this to affect any of my studies. But I am suffering a lot. Having a boyfriend that treats his girls friend better than girlfriend, having a boyfriend that hanging out with another girl everyday, having a boyfriend that only message me sometimes not even once in a week and etc. Looking at him spending days with a girl that I don't even know who she is, flirting, being drunk, going back home late in the midnight. It sucks!

Throwing his own future away, rather work everyday than study. Everyone around me is saying that's stupid. One that can really study and get good result, throwing his own future like that, spent everyday fooling. Can't you just sit down and think bout it? It's so immature! Friends around are saying that, " Don't you wanna spend all your time with a boy like that?" , "There's more choices right out there." , " You're only 17, what for getting so upset?"

I don't know if I am going to stand this in front of my friends. I usually cried in front of them, having hugs from them, being convince, being so warm... Yes, SPM is only in a few days time, and so means we're graduating, and it means that we're only going to have few days time to have some better memories camwhore-ing, chit chatting and etc. And I don't wanna spoil this!

Just leave me alone. Those who are calling me, I'll call you back later. I'm crying.

I hate you.

Two is better than one

2009-11-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

Two is better than one

Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swif

There is something about this song that is so addictive !
Heart Wrenching.. .. ..

This song reminds me of him

= (

Taylor Swift's Fearless Platinum Edition, thumbs up !
♥

Fight

2009-11-06T23:12:00.000-08:00

SPM is in 1 week time
and yet i'm still online almost whole day
watching gossip girl online, on TV
I'm totally addicted already !

Serena and Dan ! ♥

xoxo gossip girl

Gosh !
still don't feel like doing exam yet.
someone please motivate me !

Sometimes just having fought is important,
even if you don't win.

Still having relationship problem.

I miss you badly.

♥ JJ and Ean
the hitz.fm morning crew
=D

gossip girl

2009-10-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Kinda addicted in

gossip girl

Serena is absolutely gorgeous. (Blake Lively)

and Dan, the most perfect boyfriend ever. (Penn Badgley)

I love them, both.

Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald

Isn't he hot?

Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf

Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass

Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey

Latest episode summary
Season 3, Episode 7

How to Succeed in Bassness

Looking for publicity for his new hotel, Chuck moves his club's opening and convinces Serena to assist him in getting the word out. Feeling left out, Blair tries to win Chuck's approval by secretly helping him with a problem concerning the opening night. Meanwhile, Dan get's nervous after watching one of Olivia's infamous sex scenes with her co-star and real-life boyfriend during that time, Patrick Robinson. Jenny is forced to choose between Eric and her new role as Queen Bee, which as a result causes major conflict between the two characters.

It's already the third season
And yet, 8tv is still in season 2
and only once a week, on tuesday night.
Gossshhh~
Can't wait for season 3 !

XOXO gossip girl

Looking for the books right now.

I've almost finish my Night World written by L.J Smith
It's all about vampires, witches, werewolves, and shapeshifter
who falls in love with human

Nice one

It's all about his choice
And I knew that,
things doesn't need to make sense right now

It sounds like an excuse to me.

Laine laine~
I miss you, and ♥ you

=)

♥

2009-10-17T00:57:00.000-07:00

Cried whole night

For my stupid idiot boyfriend

I'm just f*cking stupid

*Eh eh~ Nothing else I can say

This song just simply make me happy

New SPM Marking System

2009-10-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hell, A+ is 90 and above

Kill me.

Flirt

2009-10-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

Everyone does flirt right?
I do flirt
Who don't?

I flirt and you too

But just don't do it in front of me

That's all I want from you

Wacthed 'Love Lies Bleeding' on TV last week I think
HBO or MAX?
Forgotten = =

Very nice and touching movie
Nearly cried T.T

Life

2009-10-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

After the meeting last friday
I went back at 4
Joey stayed with me until about 3 something
Then he went to Flamingo hotel for the function
And dumped me alone in the school

He told me lots of his story
Complicated?

That's what people call life
Always complicated
The only thing that really matter was just the way you gonna face it

No matter you like it or not
You still have to
That's your life

That's what I've learnt from Joey
He is tough, seriously
Cause I know that I wouldn't be able to do like what he did
It's difficult for people like me

What the HELLLLLLL?
SPM grading system changed
This year onwards!!

Instead of A1, A2, B3, B4, C5, C6, D7, E8, G9
The new grades would be from A+ to G
A+ ?
The government is killing us
What we students can do just to pray that the range of marks for A+ is not too high

My godness
My A's flies~~ = =
I only got 2 A's for my trial

Trial's result are killing me
SPM are killing me!

And joey, remember
Top student?
So what?
Kacang only la for you to beat him xD
Try your best !

And for those who are taking PMR
Good luck !
All the best !

Ashley Greene

2009-09-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

Actor that played A L I C E Cullen in movie TWILIGHT

Ashley Greene

She looks prettier with long hair
Don't she?

Short Hair ~

She is so much prettier, hotter with long hair
And she is cute and sweet too~

What a pretty 21 years old lady
xDD

I ♥ EDWARD CULLEN

Edward Cullen @ Robert Pattinson

He is damn hot and handsome !

Carlisle Cullen @ Peter Facinelli

The sweet one

Edward & Bella !

Edward Cullen @ Robert Pattinson
Isabella Swan @ Kristen Stewart

Kellan Lutz @ Emmett Cullen
Nikki Reed @ Rosalie Cullen
Ashley Greene @ Alice Cullen
Jackson Rathbone @ Jasper Cullen

And the movie NEW MOON is on cinema on 27th November

Craving for NEW MOON !

2 more months to go~

Well, I know I am crazy
My brother said I am = =
Cause I watch the movie trailer over and over again

It's nice la, dude.
Watch together la. xDD

I found this cute one ~

Since when Emmett was the bear?
And Jacob, dog?

Edward calls him that, though.

xDD

My W A Y

2009-09-25T00:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone have their own way to do their own things
Never gossip and never comment about it
Just mind your own business
That's it

And I have my own way too
There is no doubt in how the way I do my own thing and love my boyfriend
I just simply love that
It doesn't matter if he treat me bad, though
As long as both of us are happy with it

It's none of your business

Mind your words
Or else just throw it all out of your head
And there is no more friend for me and you
Mr. V

Please,
This is a demand, not a request

It's irritating

Speed

2009-09-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

I used to feel nice in a speeding car
But I don't even feel a little better this time
though i usually enjoy it alot

I bet he won't know how much I miss him
It had already been almost a month
lack of love that he used to give to me

Nothing else I can say
I'm too crazy over him

It's crazy to love someone who hurts you
It's crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you

I'm Suffering for nothing, for the one that doesn't love me at all.

H O T Chicks

2009-09-22T00:03:00.000-07:00

SEXY BITCH
by David Guetta & Akon

I just simply love this music video

Lots of hot chicks XD

♥

2009-09-17T23:56:00.000-07:00

I know that I won't be able to change you

Sometimes I am just pretending
I didn't mention doesn't mean I don't care

I just kept one eye close

And it hurts

Do remember what you've promised

Some one played your role as a boyfriend

And I
Don't know what to do

I'm just crazy over you
He means nothing to me

Dump me OR Love me?

2009-09-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

I ♥ MY BOYFRIEND

Everything I wanted
yet it was still no more than I expected

Girlfriend is just nothing to him

His heart is not with me -
Anymore?
Or I should consider it as never?

He might not be the best boyfriend I've ever met
But he is the one I love the most

And now

He is planning when to dump me

But at least
Another month for me, please?

You know how much I love you

You WON'T know

2009-08-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

You wouldn't know how much I expected

I'm the who make things complicated

G E N T I N G

2009-08-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

I had a sweet holiday with my family

We just went to Genting

Nothing much to do with that place actually

But I had lots of fun with all my cousins

And a new boy

Yes

He is still new for us

His eldest sister

Means my cousin’s girlfriend brought him here with us

He is kinda good looking boy actually

Every girl goes crazy after him

I’m the one too xD

He ‘pretended’ to be quiet on the first day he spent with us

But on the next day….

He is just as noisy as my brother

Anyway we still love to spending time with him

HE is a NICE GUY

Here he is . .

Vincent Ng

17 years old

About 168cm I think

Good looking and caring

Anyone? xD

But the thing is

He lives in MALACCA

And I live in KL

Or else he would be my next target xD

The first night

Six of us went for movie

11bucks per head = =

After movie we went back to the hotel

Vincent took his bath

After that five of us(we left Eunice in the room)went to the lobby to look for cards

In the shop we bought the cards

The cards placed right next to boxes of condoms

He walked to us, took it up and asked

“What’s that?”

How good his acting was

Acted to be so simple-minded and unsophisticated

But he still ends up image broken in front of us

Because we found a packet of that in his wallet too

Don’t tell me it is normal for that thing to be in one 17 years old boys wallet?

The thing is he told us that packet of things was chocolate before my cousin open it

We are the one that are really simple-minded to believe in what he said

CHOCOLATE

= =

The next day….

He slept right beside me while I’m watching TV in the hotel

How cute the way he sleep

Pillow on his face

Hands on the wall

And feet on the floor

Just imagine that

I wanted to sleep too

We slept at 4 last night

But my brother and nephew?

Keep asking us to bring them to the theme park

How irritating

How tired man to take care of this two naughty kids out there

Vincent is the only one who taking care of them actually

He paid for the ticket too

I just stood still behind them and watch them having lots fun

That’s KIDS

Getting crazy after every games

I can’t stop disturbing him

Even though he is sleeping

I still hitting him with pillows

What to do?

Rest of them went back early

And I’m bored

The weather up there was so cold

I don’t really think it’s above 0 celcius

The mist was so thick until we can’t even see roads in front

It’s dangerous to drive in wheather like that

We went to Gothong Jaya to have our dinner

Then we went back home at 8.30pm

And I reached home at 9.40pm

I think the rest of them need 2 hours to reach Malacca

Drive Safely

Not much photo taken

I forgot to bring my camera

= =

I had ‘two’ nice days

I’m just interested in him

Nothing much than that

Feelings like that won’t last long

TRUST ME

Problems solved?

I don’t know

I am just a normal girl

I don’t enjoy being in love with one that no longer being good to me anymore

3 years

Don’t you ever realized?

A D D I C T E D

2009-08-16T01:20:00.001-07:00

-------------------------------------------------------------

Everything breaks into pieces!

I HATE MY LIFE!

Hennessy Artistry With DJ CAMILO !

2009-07-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

It's time of the year for the big party in Bukit Kiara with International acts such as Ying Yang Twins, Fatman Scoop, dominique Tsai, DJ Camilo and representing Asia DJ milinka from Indonesia and our One Buck Short!!

YING YANG TWINS!!

and DOMINIQUE TSAI!

This event is on today, 25th July at Bukit Kiara Indoor Arena,
Kuala Lumpur from 9pm onwards just for the biggest event of the year!

I WISH I WERE THERE IN THE PARTY RIGHT NOW!!

Hennessy Artistry ROCKS!

At the same time, do support our school's (SMKTC) chinese society drama group too. They are having a show tonight at 8pm at our school hall.

《窗外的秘密世界》

Huh. I am not in the event above. But i really wish to be there. That is a massive event of the year that all of you can't imagine. The whole world was there and you won't know how high tide it is! I feel in love and intrested in Hennessy Artistry since last year, when Flo Rida rocked himself onto the stage! Party people were truly excited to see him up there. GIRLS especially were going wild!!

Lil Jon is the one who is coming today actually. I don't know why he won't be coming, but he'll be replaced by YING YANG TWINS! Some of them would be depair i think. He pump the crowd up!

and DJ CAMILO !
the International Club King!

He is the one who party people like to rock with! Me too of course!
He is soooo cute!
Can you guys all imagine he is the International Club King?
YES! He is!!

I am still under age as well. My mum, which are so...... 'open-minded', she won't allowed me to attend such event like this for sure. And even the chinese society's drama show, I did not present myself as an audience or even a PA sytem's member. Sorry for that. Just because my silly little brother. SGM is having a function something like choir internal competiton or performance. My brother took part and he and his teammates got the first place. The children are definitely cute, but when come to performance.... I think you guys know what I am trying to tell la. Ahah.

Congratulations to my silly brother

and

Once more,

Hennessy Artistry ROCKS!

I would be in there DEFENITELY!
maybe few years later, when I got my freedom back! Ahah

P R O M I S E S

2009-07-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

Everyone has their own style
I have my own one too
I told you I hate people break their promises
especially you

do remember what you said
promises that you have made
and the way you talk to me
really infuriating
you are the one who said you don't mind
Okay
I'm telling you now
I won't bother
and I don't care
even you mind

satisfy?

alcoholic?
as you wish
as long as you happy with it
. . . . . .

康乐童军第一届营火会

2009-06-14T01:11:00.000-07:00

6月13这一晚

7点半到10点半
我们的康乐童军第一届营火会
在礼堂进行了

来的人不多

受邀请的13间学校

只有4间到

本来以为会有400人来的

现在只有200左右

本来会在草场搞的

也因为天气阴晴不定

而换在礼堂搞

道具等等的

也差不多最后一分钟才准备好

但我们没有失败

来的那200都很容易投入

200个人就200个

总好比400个人来

全部都不会玩

对吧？

这是我的想法

场地临时换了

表演却没有受影响

这是我最值得骄傲的不是吗？

还有我的PA们

Function我做过了

我了解有多辛苦

做错了还要挨骂

辛苦你们了

谢谢你们

这假期两个星期

几乎每天都在学校

教Sakai跳舞, 练Thriller

这假期我很开心

我没有白过

我有一班很ah ma的Zombie们

还有在表演当天给我感觉很有成就感的Sakai们

那天最后一天的正式彩排

我不是有心想骂你们

因为我知道你们还可以更好

你们的欢笑带给我很多欢乐

表演后还有人跑过来跟我说

“谢谢你,谢谢你教我们跳舞,没有你的坚持现场就没有那么多给我们的掌声。”

我也要谢谢你们

我知道你们有努力

要不然我再教得怎么好都没用

我的Zombie们

谢谢你们这一个多月的配合

虽然各有各的职位在身

还面临着年中考试

但我们还是出生入死

把舞练好

谢谢你们的坚持

各位兄弟姐妹们

我爱死你们

还有最重要的两个“师傅”

虽然我们那一句“谢谢老师”简单了点

但我们是真心跟你说谢谢的

谢谢你们

还有瑞伟，红菱

我有什么做得不够好的

对不起

没有你们

就没有营火会

成功

我们成功踏出第一步

做了这13年来

都没有一年有人敢撞胆去做的事

是第一次

也是最后一次了

这营火会是我们中五生留在童军最后的回忆了

有点不舍

还是好好留着这份美好的回忆

一辈子

一日童军，一世童军

童军情緣 • 心心相惜

Outing - Class Trip

2009-06-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

I had a really nice day today

I went to school this morning for rehearsal for the campfire
i taught them the dance
myself cant imagine that i would dance that in front of people
the dance is rather unsightly
anyway i am not going to dance on that day
I just do my work
just to teach
XD

i left the scout gang at about 10 something
joining my class for a trip to Petrosains @ KLCC
we were there at about 11 plus
everybody looking at us
such a massive gang wearing the green T
walking here and there
anyway
i enjoy the feel being looking at too
XD

with my babe yin~
^^

we had our lunch after visiting the petrosains at the foodcourt
then we walked around and then back to leisure mall at 5

guess what
i saw wai hon and his girl there
damn excited
i am ready to spread the news all over the school
XD

then. .
we went for steamboat
its nice to have steamboat with 21 person around you
laughing and screaming
thats what we do
we are the silly one
we just enjoy alot

after having our dinner
we had a walk at the pasar malam
then Jung Yung sent me back
thanks to him
although his driving is not that good
consider not bad la since he just got his license
XD

I HAD NICE DAY

and

I ENJOYED THE DAY

we could just enjoy ourselves whenever we are
when we were all together
spending our time here and there
chit chatting and being crazy
that's what i really love about 5E2

FRIENDS
FOREVER

♥

Birthday [ L♥VE ]

2009-05-23T01:40:00.000-07:00

thanks to all of you
thanks for your presents, wishes
everything
i just L♥VE you guys

Hong Seng, Julia, Ai Reen, Hoong Kit, Sow Yin, Tze Yin,
Zhen Khoon, Lianne, Chu, Calvin, Hinz, Ben, Zhu Zaii,
Zhu Luii, Alan, Kien Ning, Zhuang Wei, Dhai Sheng, Saw,
Amy, Yanny, Suet Lian, Mun Yee, Sin Ru, Adrian, Chi Ken,
Seow Hon, Chee Fong, Li Ren, Hoong Ling, Swee Wei,
Rong Jian, Lip Heng, Joey, Shu Wen, Lim Lynn, Joanna,
Wai Hoe, Wai Meng, Ke Xin, Suet Yee, Tik Sheng, Elson,
Shawn, Melvin, Ti Ming, Eugene, Shee Gee, Chin Kiat,
Kar Fai, Wen Hoong and..... Tjun.

I don't really think he remember about that

And I don't really enjoy my birthday this year

anyway
I LOVE ALL OF YOU

forever
FRIENDS
♥

and Daddy, Mummy & my silly brother
I love you too

♥ FAMILY ♥

Defeat

2009-05-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

This is the 5th day
you never bother me at all

first time in my life

look at yourself

what kind of face you showed me this morning

FINE

I failed again!

I agree that all love shifts and changes

I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time

♥ I am just missing you ♥

______________________________________________________________

wasai~

finally I finished my script
4 pages

*FAINT

In ♥ with you

2009-05-10T04:15:00.000-07:00

FINE!

you treat all your promises as a joke
just remember that i don't

Our relationship are somewhat ambiguous
it is convoluted like hemp vines

and prove to me
that you are not cold blooded

♥ I'M REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU ♥

♥ HOPE ♥

2009-05-10T03:42:00.000-07:00

现在我了解
自己一个人学舞,排舞
是那么的辛苦
真的很难
在电脑前学舞学整天
播歌跳出来
竟然只有那短短30秒
学了5,6个小时
为那30秒
我希望真的值得
我希望它会给别人留下深刻的印像
我希望它不会是扫兴的
我希望它不会像其它的一样失败
我希望这营火会会成功

我们花的精神还有时间
才会值得

我们都希望它成功
我和红凌真的花了很多时间在它身上
花的也有心思

我会把舞学好,排好,练好
我会把我该做的都做好

最后还是希望
这营火会
能让康乐童军
“起死回生”

所以我要成功!